Oh. Hell. No.: An Artist Displays Her Period Blood for the Past Five Years for an Exhibit

This came out of someone’s hooha. (from The Daily Mail)

*BLECCCH* I think I just threw up in my mouth.

From The Daily Mail, Chilean artist Carina Ubeda collected her menses on white cloths for FIVE YEARS then hung them from the ceiling with some apples (that are suppose to represent ovulation) and called it an exhibition.

Ubeda says that she wanted to “mix art with something personal.” DM reports

For five years, Ms Ubeda kept the fabrics in a cushion. ‘I keep things because I always say, “I’ll do something with it.”‘ At first, she tried to make an artist’s book with the cloths, but said that an exhibition made more sense.

My logical self says I sort of get what Ubeda was trying to get at. She was trying to celebrate and destigmatize something that is innately feminine. Congratulations, Kotex is trying to do the same thing with their stupid commercials.

My normal self is going “EEEEEEEEEEEW WTF PERIOD BLOOD?!?!?! Bitch, are you KIDDING ME?!” I don’t hate it because it’s specifically period blood, I hate it because it’s bodily fluids that have been stored and collected for half a decade. That is just gross. The fact that it is bodily fluids that came out your vag makes it so much worse.

I should of prefaced this by saying I am very rarely grossed out by anything. I used to watch graphic surgery documentaries (for fun I might add) while eating. I scroll through subreddit r/wtf on the daily. Gore in general doesn’t phase me. However, something about bodily fluids and the fact that I intimately know all about menstruation (hello, vagina owner here) that makes cringe so hard.

What’s worse are people are trying to sniff the blood:

Fritz Demuth, the Center’s art manager, said that since the exhibition debut on Friday, many spectators have tried to smell the pieces of cloth.

‘But the smell just does not exist, [the cloths] are not filthy,’ she said, adding that to maintain hygiene, disinfectant spray was applied directly to the blood and cloth before going on display.

Oh, you sprayed it with some Purel? That makes it less trifling.

I Don’t Understand Baby Mugging…Probably Because I Have No Soul

I have something for your morning coffee….. (via Buzzfeed)

I will start this post by saying I do not have a child. I do not know the joys of motherhood, the heartwarming feeling of a baby wrapping its hand around my finger or the instant love for something that has burst forth from my vagina.

Therefore, I don’t understand the latest trend of baby-mugging.

If you don’t know, baby mugging is when you take a picture of your baby (/dog/cat/burrito) and it looks like they are in your mug. For some reason unbeknownst to me, it’s supposed to be really cute.

I can understand that baby = cute.

Mug = not cute/normal/meh/wtf am I judging a mug’s cuteness for?

How does Baby + Mug = TOTES ADORBS!!! 😀

Maybe it’s the cynic in me (or the fact I feel nothing for children, but that’s another story), but this looks less adorable and more horrific than anything else.

Why is your kid drowning? Are you a baby eater? Are you about to throw your beverage onto your child? These are the burning questions I have. Or you could explain exactly why this is supposed to be cute, because I JUST DON’T GET IT.

 

Woman Does Breatharianism Diet of Sunlight ONLY, Forgets Most People Call This Starvation

The sun is laughing at your stupidity.

Have you ever woken up one day and said to yourself “Damn, I am TIRED of eating. Food is the BANE OF MY LIFE.” No? It’s probably because you are rational person and also appreciate the flavor of a good cheese(/veggie) burger.

However, this lady in Seattle decided to try out breatharianism, which believes that all the human body only needs solar energy and (maybe) water to survive. She has given up food since May 3rd and plans to go about 4-5 months.

oO. Oo. (This is me giving the stinkeye over the internet.)

First off, let’s call it what it is: starvation. Bitch, you are starving yourself. People around the world already follow this diet and not by choice. There are people in Asia going “I would like something else in my stomach other than air.”

Second, (and this is coming from the science part of me) HUMANS ARE NOT PLANTS. We cannot photosynthesize like them. Now I could get into all the technical and snooze-inducing details about it, but our cells do not turn sunlight into energy like our green friends do. The direct proof of that is that sunlight gives humans skin cancer. Also, we have mouths. You know, to eat shit with.

We can’t lie out in the sun all day and expect to feel full and happy about it. No, we sweat, get dehydrated and turn a bright pink color.

I don’t know why anyone would call even attempt this seeing at least FOUR people have tried it and died even though there are thousands of (supposed) breatharianisms internationally.

My guess? Sunlight is a code word for cookies and water is code for vodka.