My Crazy Obsession Makes Me Terrified of Screwing Up My (Future) Kids

Ok guys, I have to admit I have an addiction.

I LOVE TLC’s My Strange Addiction. Seriously, I love me some crazy OCD people. I love their stories on why they started doing their weird habit, which usually begins with “One day I had the idea to [random insane thing here].” I don’t know who wakes up one day and decides to taste Vick’s vaporub, but that’s just me.

And then I found out about TLC’s newer show My Crazy Obsession, which also made me crazy obsessed. You might be asking yourself, “Aren’t these two the same show?” And I’d say, “SHUT YOUR IGNORANT FACE, THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

From what I understand (after watching almost every episode of each… seriously, I think I have a problem…), My Strange Addiction is more about people who have some kind of undiagnosed OCD. They simply have to eat chalk/sand/tires or get butt injections or do whatever wacky thing they do. And in that sense, I kind of understand what they are coming from. I have my own compulsions (nothing nearly as unusual interesting) so I get it. You know it’s illogical but you just have to do it. My Crazy Obsession is, in my opinion, about crazy people and their lifestyles.

And that show scares me for my future kids. Every other person on the show says they can pinpoint their insanity to some point in their childhood. Examples:

• boy who flew on a PanAm plane turns into the man who is recreating the exact replica of the cabin of the same plane in his garage.
• the girl who was given Barbies by her mother grows up to a woman who not only collects Barbies, but styles her hair and orders custom clothes based on the doll
• the boy who saw a mermaid show and now wants to be a merman
• the girl who is a celebrity stalker because her mother would take her celeb spotting as a child

I’m sure these parents weren’t thinking a simple vacation or gift was going to set their child up for a life of crazy. What if I give my kid sees a rainbow one day then decides they want everything in their life to be multicolored and arc-shaped? What if I take them to the playground then they become obsessed with plastic slides or mulch or rubber flooring!? The freaky possibilities are endless!!  Maybe I’ll just lock them in the house until they are 18, because that won’t damage them to much right? RIGHT?!