Someone Hand Me Some Money Because Apple Turned Me Into a Sex Addict

#FACT. (from http://pointsadhsblog.wordpress.com/)

Cheezits H Crackers. Right now I am facepalming SO HARD, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to explain a bruise on Monday.

Apparently, some poor innocent THIRTY-SIX YEAR OLD man accidentally misspelled Facebook.com which directed him to the porn site Fuckbook.com  (no, i’m not going to link it, pervs) and THAT mistake, my friends, resulted in the utter collapse of his marriage and life. And because this was done on an Apple computer, clearly it makes perfect sense to go ahead and sue the company because, golly gee, they should of known to put a porn filter automatically on their browser.

Didn’t they know that porn “appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and lead to an unwanted addiction??” C’mon Apple, this is basic science. If a man sees anything remotely sexy, of COURSE they are going to become obsessed with fucking it. I mean, how could they not? Isn’t that what a penis is for? Poor, desperate Mr. Chris Sevier couldn’t help but lose attraction for his “not 21” wife! Who can blame him when there is virtual poon at a click’s notice?! HE’S ONLY HUMAN, PEOPLE!

Of course, Mr Sevier isn’t only thinking of himself. Adding a porn filter will help “‘mom and pop’ brick and mortar shops” who are struggling to compete with their online counterparts. This move will SAVE the creepy adult porn stores that sit at the end of the street! You know, I was really worried about Mom and Pop. How are they are going to retire when big bad Internet Porn is taking their sticky money?

OR we could totally call Chris Sevier on his utter bullshit. There’s a crazy concept called free will, in which (get this) you can choose to do OR NOT DO something. Whoa, buddy. So if you felt like something is wrong, you can choose to stop. Now, this is an oversimplification of addiction. Let’s say he was a reformed sex addict (it doesn’t say he is but let’s pretend) then I can offer a bit more sympathy. He made a mistake and it triggered old habits. Well, you can still pump the brakes and not something else and go to therapy, talk to your wife, try something. Maybe your marraige will still fail. Regardless, it’s not Apple’s fault because you have no self control and can’t admit that.

Apple didn’t deliver porn stars to your house to seduce you. Just because Apple doesn’t filter doesn’t mean they endorse or are responsible for it. You know what I can get online? LOTS OF AWESOME AND MOST LIKELY ILLEGAL THINGS. Guess how many of those illegally awesome things I own? Zero. Because I have restraint. Because I have common sense. Because I know better than to blame someone else for my own stupid shit. Also, maybe because I don’t have a penis.