Epic Meltdown Battles: BIEBER vs. BYNES
At least they both love red beanies.
Justin “L0ok how grown I am” Beiber
- Still internationally famous
- Only 19, so I have to cut him a little slack. All of us have done plenty of stupid things at 19.
- Tried to smuggle a monkey into Germany. Clearly failed at it.
- Tries to fight everyone, although I’m fairly certain he’s never actually had to resort to fisticuffs. Because, you know, he’s Canadian. Also he’s a scrawny kid screaming behind bodyguards.
- Loves being shirtless for no reason. I’m starting to think he has a personal vendetta against them.
Amanda “What happened to her?!” Bynes (Seriously, what DID happen to her?)
- is 27 which means she should know better.
- Thinks asking people to murder her vagina is a legitimate request.
- Supposedly as a clothing line AND a fragrance coming out. Not sure who wants to smell like a DUI and wigs.
- Possibly dyed her hair a sexy shade of Tampon Red, although claims it was imposter. (PS it’s not Halloween, so I don’t know who would want to dress up as her.)
- Started going downhill after she side-swiped a police car and got arrested for DUI. But it’s totally NOT true. (WINK)
- Got double cheek piercings because both sides need to match.
- Proclaimed she retired, then sort of didn’t. Who do you think you are, Brett Favre?
Okay, after tallying up all the points, I’m going to say Bynes is going to win this and maybe go all Lohan-esque on us. Bieber, on the other hand, is having some weird teenage angst going on because puberty just does that to you. Even if/when he does go insane in the membrane, he’s young and famous enough where he can recover and grow up a little. Bynes has her… SIGH… clothing line. Seriously, what is with celebrities and clothing lines? There are legit people who went to school for fashion and being (sort of) famous doesn’t make you an expert on what looks good. If Rihanna can’t make it work, what makes you think you can, Amanda?!
My Daily Disgust 